The tag #funnyparents is gaining quite a bit of traction, and some hilarious results. Check out our favourites below!
My 14yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snow day, so I changed the wifi password.— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) February 9, 2016
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.— Mickey (@Hypercraxy) September 24, 2015
Me: goodnight kids— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) August 15, 2015
Kids: goodnight dad
Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad
Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT
Me: There's my big girl.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 8, 2015
3-year-old: I'm not a big girl!
Me: There's my little girl.
3: I'm not little!
Me: What are you?
3: A dragon.
[looking up at the night sky]— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2016
Me: You can make a wish on any star you want.
5-year-old: Which one is the Death Star?
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
Never, & I mean NEVER make eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep.They will sense your excitement & abort mission! #momlife— CaffeineAndFairydust (@CaffeineandF) November 14, 2015
Me: What did you learn in kindergarten today?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2015
5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember.
Apparently she learned bribery.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2011
Me: We already have three girls. What do you think the new baby will be?— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 14, 2015
2-year-old daughter: A cat.
Me: It's an old phone.— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) March 26, 2015
6: Like a 4S?
Me: No. Like a house phone that's attached to the wall with a cord.
6: I don't understand.
As the parent of a 5yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers.— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) April 28, 2015
[at the drive-through]— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 16, 2015
4-year-old: Why don't you work at McDonald's?
Me: I already have a job.
4: I wish you were cool.
My toddler woke up upset because he couldn't find his glasses, but what really set him off was when I told him he doesn't even wear glasses.— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) July 31, 2015
Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself.— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 22, 2015
Me: Yes. She did that.
7 y/o daughter: "If I'm watching cartoons on the couch then wouldn't they be couchtoons cause I'm not in a car?"— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) March 5, 2016
No paternity test needed
And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids.— keith (@tchrquotes) March 13, 2016
Her: All our children's snacks are organic.— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) July 26, 2014
Me: Cool. My kid eats candy off the floor.
THANK YOU TO OUR SUPPORTERS
FlipGive and Cammi Granato would like to thank our official supporters Dallas Stars, Seattle Kraken, LA Kings, Anaheim Ducks, Toronto Maple Leafs, Tampa Bay Lightning, Hawerchuk Strong, Jackson Events, Canlan and other donors for helping support future legends as part of the Cammi Granato Girls Hockey Grant.
ABOUT CAMMI GRANATO:
Cammi Granato is a former captain of the United States women's national ice hockey team, Olympic gold medalist and one of the first women to be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 2010. She currently works as a scout for the NHL’s Seattle Kraken organization.
FlipGive is a free tool to make and manage money for your team. Earn cashback toward team expenses, balance the budget, accept fee payments, and more. Managers and parents save time and energy while lowering the cost to play. Teams across North America have earned $29M and counting. Learn more at flipgive.com
Sports Are Expensive.
We Can Help.