The tag #funnyparents is gaining quite a bit of traction, and some hilarious results. Check out our favourites below!
My 14yo made fun of me this morning because I had to go to work while he had a snow day, so I changed the wifi password.
— Rock (@TheMichaelRock) February 9, 2016
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
— Mickey (@Hypercraxy) September 24, 2015
Me: goodnight kids
— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) August 15, 2015
Kids: goodnight dad
Me: goodnight monster that eats children who are bad
Wife: [through radio under the bed] GOODNIGHT
Me: There's my big girl.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 8, 2015
3-year-old: I'm not a big girl!
Me: There's my little girl.
3: I'm not little!
Me: What are you?
3: A dragon.
[looking up at the night sky]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 9, 2016
Me: You can make a wish on any star you want.
5-year-old: Which one is the Death Star?
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands
Never, & I mean NEVER make eye contact with a child on the verge of falling asleep.They will sense your excitement & abort mission! #momlife
— CaffeineAndFairydust (@CaffeineandF) November 14, 2015
Me: What did you learn in kindergarten today?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 12, 2015
5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember.
Apparently she learned bribery.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) September 4, 2011
Me: We already have three girls. What do you think the new baby will be?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 14, 2015
2-year-old daughter: A cat.
Me: It's an old phone.
— Stella G. Maddox (@StellaGMaddox) March 26, 2015
6: Like a 4S?
Me: No. Like a house phone that's attached to the wall with a cord.
6: I don't understand.
As the parent of a 5yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) April 28, 2015
[at the drive-through]
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 16, 2015
4-year-old: Why don't you work at McDonald's?
Me: I already have a job.
4:
Me:
4: I wish you were cool.
My toddler woke up upset because he couldn't find his glasses, but what really set him off was when I told him he doesn't even wear glasses.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) July 31, 2015
Daycare lady: *notices 3-year-old's shirt is on backward* It's cute how you let her dress herself.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 22, 2015
Me: Yes. She did that.
7 y/o daughter: "If I'm watching cartoons on the couch then wouldn't they be couchtoons cause I'm not in a car?"
— Zack (@Mr_Kapowski) March 5, 2016
No paternity test needed
And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in and doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted in a clean house, and we had kids.
— keith (@tchrquotes) March 13, 2016
Me: I made pork.
— Dave Lesser (@AmateurIdiot) September 1, 2015
3yo: I don't like pork.
Me: It's chicken.
3yo: Oh, yeah, I like that kind of chicken.#Parenting #PickyEater #Win
Her: All our children's snacks are organic.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) July 26, 2014
Me: Cool. My kid eats candy off the floor.
